Over the years, Baker has lobbied to bring terrible, terrible baseball players to Cincinnati all because they fit the description of a "veterany" teammate who was once decent. Baker hates rookies, which is unfortunate since Cincinnati has been loaded with prospects the last few years.
The most smug anyone has ever looked with a toothpick in their mouth.
Without further ado, I have compiled the "Dusty Dream Line-Up," a collection of players that Dusty (and Dusty only) has mysteriously salivated over during his managerial career. These are men that no one else wanted. But Dusty had a "gut feeling" about them. And when Dusty has a "gut feeling," logic goes out the window:
1. CF- Willy Taveras
Your leadoff hitter is Willy Taveras. His career OBP is a somewhat-respectable .320. He had a season in which he stole 68 bases. He also had a batting average of .320 (in 90 games) and .291 (in 152 games) with another somewhat-respectable .274 career batting average.
Now let's talk about why he was terrible. Most of his career numbers are heavily inflated by playing in spacious Coors Field in Denver. He never scored more than 82 runs, which is a function of his inability to get on base. His only season in Cincinnati was a disaster. But there were numerous warning signs that he should have never been the lead-off centerfielder. Baker would have none of it, insisting on penciling in Taveras for 1/2 the season while the Reds fell out of playoff contention. The season before in Colorado, he hit .251 with a obp barely above .300, and a .296 slugging % in COORS FIELD.
2. SS- Rey Ordonez (Honorable mention: Cesar Izturis, Neifi Perez, Orlando Cabrera, Edgar Renteria)
Never mind that he has a career OBP of .289 with neglible speed. Never mind that he struck out in 1/3 of his major league at-bats. He is the shortstop and EVERYONE KNOWS THE SHORTSTOP HAS TO BAT SECOND, according to Dusty-logic. Ordonez was a Dusty pet-project on the 2004 Cubs. Dusty HAS to have a weak-hitting middle infielder that gets far too much playing time on all of his rosters. It's a rule.
3. RF- Corey Patterson
Dusty LOVES Corey Patterson. It is unclear why. Patterson had one decent season in 2004, and Dusty never forgot. Dusty started Patterson again in 2005 and got a .215 BA with a .254 OBP. This would be enough to fall out of favor with most managers. In Dusty's first season in Cincinnati, he recruited Patterson hard to start in center. He hit a paltry .208 with a .588 OPS out of the leadoff spot. 2008 was a bad year.
4. 1B- Randall Simon
It's hard for me to speak ill of Simon, but only because of this
5. 3B- Jerry Hairston Jr.
For what it's worth, I've always thought JHJ was a good player to have in a pinch-hit situation. He had pop but wasn't exactly someone you wanted to see starting a game. Unless you're Dusty Baker. Baker would have started Hairston every game if it were socially acceptable. Hairston is another player that Dusty managed in Chicago and eventually brought to Cincinnati.
6. LF- Juan Pierre
To a batting average disciple like Dusty Baker, Juan Pierre is the holy grail. A career .295 hitter, he has always been a player Dusty has attempted to go after. The problem with Pierre, though, is that he is only good for singles and stolen bases. He did have one season with an OPS north of .780, but I guarantee you that Dusty didn't know that.
7. 2B- Wilson Valdez
Good God this is a terrible baseball player. His 2012 season with the Reds was one of the most useless baseball seasons in history. Dusty doggedly brought him on the roster after a miserable spring, and continued to use him out of necessity when Cozart went down. Valdez couldn't hit anything. Couldn't lay down a bunt. You name it. His final line in 77 games: .206 avg, 0 HR, 15 RBI, .236 OBP, .463 OPS
8. C- Paul Bako
I'm sure he's a nice guy. And an admirable backup. But there is no reason he should've been a starting catcher in the big leagues. But Dusty used him as such in '08. Bako played for Dusty in Chicago and Cincinnati, but was only a .231 career hitter. Even though he is arguably twice as good a hitter as Valdez, he finds himself in the 8 spot. Another Dusty rule is that the catcher can never bat higher than 8th. Baker would have bat Johnny Bench 8th.
9. P- Mark Prior- Throws 187 pitches in the game.
