25 Best SNL Cast Members

I consider myself an SNL connoisseur. I have seen snippets from every season and every episode since the Clinton administration. Part of that is thanks to hulu, and the other part is thanks to my lack of cool during adolescence. Because of that and because tonight is the SNL 40th anniversary show, I figured I'd give my two cents about cast member rankings. Rolling Stone and Paste unveiled their lists this week and I couldn't help but disagree on a few points. My criteria is probably different than their's. I don't care what they did before or after the show, my rankings are for the way they performed on the show. I'm looking mostly at sketch performers here, although I do give some nods to those that only appeared on Weekend Update or in shorts. To be considered, the person had to be a full time cast member for more than 1 season.
I'm judging based on writing ability, delivery, timing, charisma, characters (deductions for annoying characters), and the overall laugh factor. Without ado:
25. Taran Killam
His=stock is rising. He breaks the top 25 simply for Jebidiah Atkinson, the newspaper critic who pans Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. The most consistently funny male on the show in the last decade.
24 Chris Parnell
I always though Parnell was underrated because he always ended up playing the dad or the husband. A wonderful impressionist and actually had a comedic range many people never saw.
23. Adam Sandler
Lots of people hated Sandler on SNL. I have to admit, for the most part I do too, but he also had a certain charisma about him that, even if the sketch was annoying, you knew it wouldn't be boring. The Herlihy Boy was one of my favorites.
22. Molly Shannon
She would be up here with or without Mary Katherine Gallagher. She was born for sketch comedy.
21. Chris Rock
Way under-utlized but always made the most of the time he was given.
20. Seth Meyers
Was never really in sketches, but did a solid job on Update for several years. Head writer during a particularly successful stretch.
19. Dana Carvey
Certainly in the discussion as SNL's best impressionist. Several good recurring characters as well.
18. Darrell Hammond
Just had a nondescript face that allowed him to be anyone he wanted. Was absolutely dedicated to impressions and was just a master at it.
17. Mike Myers
One of the more versatile performers in SNL history. Did well with impressions, but was really legendary at developing a character.
16. Jane Curtin
Played the straight woman as well as anyone has ,but her jokes on Update were subversive for their time. Had a classic dead pan style.
15. Kate Mckinnon
I have no doubts she is capable of cracking the top ten when her career is over. A brilliant writer and performer, she masters facial expressions, accents, and tics. Her Angela Merkle is wonderful, and can also pull out Justin Beiber if necessary.
14. Will Forte
Just a weird dude. Very misunderstood and very brilliant.
13. Phil Hartman
Never saw Hartman bomb in a sketch. Just so reliable and had wonderful timing. Made everyone else in the sketch better too.
12. Tina Fey
Revolutionized Update and as head writer led the charge to give women a more distinct voice on the show. Was never in sketches, but could do impressions, i.e. the wonderful Sarah Palin that made her career.
11. Amy Poehler
Poehler could do it all. Had great delivery but was also a brilliant physical comedian. Had several good recurring characters and was great on Update. An SNL all-star.
10. Chevy Chase
Only on the show for just short of 2 seasons, but basically set the tone of the show. A brilliant physical comedian. His smug delivery of the news has been copied over and over. He was also in several sketches during the first season. It's no wonder he burnt out.
9. John Belushi
Most nights was coked out of his mind, but was still gifted in numerous ways: physicality, timing, and presence. Without Belushi, the show would look much different than it does today.
8. Bill Hader
A legend. Brilliant writer and sketch performer. But was also arguable the greatest impressionist in the show's 40 year history. Also had the greatest facial expressions on the show.
7. Gilda Radner
Fearless and versatile. Could play cute, silly, deadpan, or whatever the need was. Just a lovely personality that the camera loved.
6. Kristen Wiig
If not for a couple recurring characters that were run into the ground (looking at you Gilly and Target Lady,) she may have cracked the top five. The first female to truly carry the show, she was a comedic genius at creating characters, impressions, and taking sketches into bizarre territory. Sure, she was overused, but that's only because she was clearly talented and could make a simple idea very funny.
5. Dan Aykroyd
Brilliant. Brand of comedy was made for the show.
4. Chris Farley
I question any list that doesn't have Chris Farley in the top ten. I understand criticizing the era of SNL he was on. There was a lot of low-brow humor and Farley participated in that. He relied heavily on his weight, so to speak. But most of sketches were not low brow or about him dancing in a Chippendale's suit, they were just really funny and consumed by his boundless energy. If Farley didn't make you laugh, what is wrong with you?
3. Eddie Murphy
Several people claim Eddie Murphy saved SNL. He did. 80-81 was the worst season the show has ever seen and it would have rightfully been cancelled had Eddie Murphy not emerged and created his own fame. He belongs on the Rushmore of sketch comedy.
2. Bill Murray
Murray just has the right kind of personality for SNL. He could save any sketch, and virtually every character he had was a hit. No one truly understood his comedic aptitude until after he was gone, but looking back it should be readily apparent.
1. Will Ferrell
Again, you could look at any SNL castmember and say they were overused or ran a character into the ground. Did Ferrell do that? Absolutely. But the list of impressions and recurring characters that reached mainstream knowledge is astounding. That doesn't even take into consideration the multiple ways Ferrell could get a laugh in a sketch. It could be a facial expression, a bizarre line, or a physical stunt, all of which he was the best of his craft at.

Honorable Mention: Ana Gastayer, Cecily Strong, Andy Samberg

5 Fictional Seinfeld Movies That Could Be Summer Blockbusters

One of my favorite aspects of Seinfeld is the deep reservoir of fictional movies throughout the show's 9 seasons. Some of these, I admit, sound atrocious. But isn't that one of the hallmarks of a summer blockbuster? If you give me the synopsis from each of the following movies from Seinfeld and an unlimited budget, I'm confident I could earn a profit. Here are five I would make:


1.Flaming Globes of Sigmund
What we know about it:  It is a sci-fi film Jerry falls asleep to.. Larry David plays a maniacal space man who exclaims that the planets of solar system are on fire, just as Sigmund prophesized. We do not know who this Sigmund character is.

Like flaming globes, Sigmund! Like flaming globes!

How I'd make it: The plot would include a maniac terrorist in the year 2450. He has discovered technology that will ignite the atmospheres of all of the planets unless he is paid a hefty sum. He believes he is fulfilling the prophetic writings of an ancient prophet, Sigmund. Michael Shannon stars as the terrorist and---wait for it--Morgan Freeman as the stoic leader of the UN. The terrorist is successful  in incinerating Mercury and Venus, but runs into trouble when a clever scientist looking for redemption (Jeff Goldblum) foils his plan by diverting the terrorist's machine into the sun.


2. Sack Lunch
What we know about it: We know that Elaine would prefer to see it over The English Patient, because it looks fun and you don't have to think. We also know that there is ridiculous movie poster (below) that insinuates that a family is either shrunken to fit inside a sack lunch, or they are a normal-sized family in a large paper sack.

"Don't you wanna know how they got in there?"

How I'd make it: I feel as though the sack lunch on the poster is metaphorical, not literal. This would be a "family" "comedy" about a family who's lost the ability to communicate (damn cell phones!) Dad (Kevin James) and Mom (Jennifer Aniston) take their children on a sack lunch picnic into the wilderness to reconnect with one another. Though their children initially hate the idea (No cell phone reception!)( Lame!), they experience a problem (lost in the wilderness!) and come together as a family to get home.


3.Cry, Cry Again
What we know about it: A movie Jerry was forced to bootleg, it is described only as "artsy." We also know that it was set in Paris and that one scene involving the main character buying a loaf of bread actually symbolizes him buying back a loaf of his soul. Also, the movie ends with a mysterious woman dancing alone.

"You cry, then you see the dancing, and you cry again."

How I'd make it: This would be a film worthy of Oscar nominations, but would not have a discernible plot. A man (Adrian Brody) would roam the streets of Paris in a suicidal stupor after losing his job. He meets strangers along the way that bring him out of it, but he is haunted by visions of a mysterious dancing woman (Selma Hayek)


4. Mountain High
What we know about it:  "There's no higher place than Mountain High" is the tagline to this film that Kramer previews during his stint as a Movie Phone operator.We only have one line of dialogue to work with:("You've got to get me over that mountain!" *Screaming) We also know that it stars Kevin Bacon and Susan Sarandon.

How I'd make it: A recently divorced father (Kevin Bacon) decides to take a skiing trip to Aspen, where he happens upon a conveniently single and saucy redhead (Susan Sarandon.) The two hit it off on the slopes until a jealous, jilted lover (Gregory Kinnear) from the woman's past shows up for revenge.


5. Chunnel
What we know about it: The tagline is "32 miles of hell" and it involves the president's daughter being kidnapped and possibly used as ransom. We also know there is an explosion that prompts one on-looker to exclaim, "Everybody out of Chunnel!"

How I'd make it: This would be the blockbuster action/psychological thriller of the summer. George Clooney would play the cerebral, low-approval president who must regrettably make a deal with Austrian narco-terrorist Christoph Waltz, who has kidnapped his sassy daughter (Jennifer Lawrence.) Oh, and the terrorist is also threatening to blow up the Chunnel, which requires the president to work in concert with the prime minister, Benedict Cumberbatch.